Marriage Life

Yes! Of course you should savor the warm glow of falling in love. Enjoy the preparations for your wedding ceremony, thrill over the dress and trousseau, the flowers, music, attendants, reception and honeymoon. The list is endless!

But Miss Bride and Mr. Groom, as you come together to form a new family, take the time to discuss why you are getting married and how you can work toward building your new “family business” into a productive, loving environment. Rings are forever, but dreams of living happily in the partnership of marriage are never guaranteed in the wedding vows. In this decade of persistently high divorce rates, more and more engage couples are seeking premarital counseling. The attitude seems to be that if you can get help before the problems begin, you have a better chance of resolving conflicts, which can fester and turn a relationship sour.  

1. What are your expectations of marriage?
2. Do you now treat each other like equal partners?
3. What will be different simply because you get married?
4. What will be the same?
5. How do you make decisions as a couple?
6. What happens if you do not agree?
7. Do you argue fairly?
8. Do you resolve conflicts easily?
9. How do you handle finances?
10. How will you manage money and the economic base of your new family?
11. Are there issues and behaviors you would never tolerate in the marriage?
12. Are you committed to each other – looking out for each other best interests?
13. Do you talk to each other and feel you have been heard?
14. Are you satisfied with your: Emotional intimacy? Social intimacy? Emotional intimacy?
15. How does your partner treat your family and friends?
16. Is your partner compassionate?
17. Is it likely that you both will be open to forgiving each other?
18. How open and comfortable is communication with each other?
19. Are you both in agreement about children?
20. If you do have children now, how will you negotiate the childcare and house management vs. career?

Marriage and family life can be one of the most rewarding experiences for a man and woman. Creating life and nurturing one’s children so that they become an extension into the future are very dependent upon a good, healthy marital relationship. Work together toward open and honest communication, and seek professional help, if needed.